Ozan, Ozan. You're such a great straight man. I feel like Cyrano on the
subject of noses. I can't choose among all the bales of hay, so I'll just
let you choose your own favorite answer.
The Calm Answer
The same choices they've always had, and more.
The Snotty Answer
What a snot!
The Zen
What is the sound of one person choosing?
The Sarcastic
Oooh, I'm sooo sorry. I take it all back.
The Good Old Boy
Hey, ease off on the caffeine, buddy.
The Mindless Aphorism
Perl programmers have the choice of freedom, and freedom of choice.
The Light Witticism
Now, now. Let's not confuse Occam's Razor with Ozan's.
The Veiled Insult
People always have the choice of remaining ignorant.
The Slam Dunk
They can go with me, or they can go with you, or they can go nowhere.
But gee, the last two options are the same.
The Tolkien Allusion
"The choice is yours, to go or stay."
The Obvious Biblical Allusion
"There's a time for everything under the sun..."
The Obscure Biblical Allusion
"And when there had been much disputing, Peter rose up, and said
unto them, Men and brethren, ye know how that a good while ago
God made choice among us, that the Gentiles by my mouth should
hear the word of the gospel, and believe."
The Poetical Allusion
"Two roads diverged in a wood..."
The Personal Allusion
They've got lots of choices, including even SDBM.
The Flame
[FLAME ON!!!!!!!!]
How DARE you quote me out of context like that?!?!? You make me sound
like another Hitler or $omething!!! Just shut the fuck up, okay?!
[flame off]
By the way, how's the wife and kids?
The Imminent Death of the Net Predicted
With content-free messages like that, it's no wonder the net is
going downhill. What we really need is an administrative solution
to this problem. Now if we could just get some of the backbone SAs
to agree...
The Psychobabble
What you're saying is valid, but you know, you really have to
let me be me.
The Flower Child
Peace, man. Got any good stuff?
The Rodney King
Why can't we all just get along?
The Sergeant Friday
You have the right to remain silent.
The Quote Bait
Unlike most computer languages, Perl is both pro-choice and pro-life.
The Paternal Patter
That's okay, Ozan, I understand where you're coming from.
I once went through the rebellious stage you're going through,
but eventually I settled down and started getting some real work
done. These things just take time. Be patient with yourself.
The Philosophical Discourse
While none of us can, in fact, choose anything freely, we must
make our own meaning out of the absurd by pretending that our
choices do matter. In this way we authenticate ourselves; we
demonstrate our existence to everyone who cares, which is, of
course, nobody but ourselves. In this we are the elohim.
The Direct Answer
They can choose to use the new feature, or they can choose to
program in the subset of Perl 5 corresponding to Perl 4, which
many people have oddly enough found to be perfectly adequate.
The Oversimplification
Perl is about nothing BUT choice.
The Infinite Recursion
Ozan, Ozan. You're such a great straight man. I feel like Cyrano...
The Best Answer
[This space intentionally left blank.]
Love,
Larry